Hair of the Dog

You know how people are always saying that the best way to get over a hang-over is to drink more? Well, I got to try out this little experiment and I'm here to tell you it is only a temporary fix- you will still have a hang-over, except it will just be delayed and it will hit you at some weird time, like 8pm instead of the next morning like normal.

It started out innocently enough... I went out after class on Thursday night to "grab a beer" and somehow this led to a two-day binge fest that left me feeling nauseous and starving (at the same time), dehydrated, debating whether or not I was suffering from severe liver failure, without a stitch of make-up, in two day old clothes, and feeling generally unhappy.

Sure there were good parts... like the most amazing chick-nugs I've ever had, Strongbow Cider that tasted like apple juice but hurt like hell, a new friend from Papua New Guinea, learning never to order "light beer" unless you want to be made to feel like a fool, chocolate Easter candy, strange conversations probably as a result of the delirium, and lots of laughs. But for the most part it was ugly!

So, instead of the "hair of the dog" method, here is my tried and tested cure for a hang-over:
Step 1: Do not, under any circumstances, step outside of your house for any reason other than to maybe get fast food.
Step 2: Get fast food- preferably of the Taco Bell variety, but anything greasy and unhealthy will work.You will want to consume your food in the horizontal position (while laying on the couch or, in dire circumstances, on the floor)
Step 4: Hide yourself in a dark, cold place where you can watch marathons of old reality TV shows.
Step 5: Every few hours you should take a couple ibuprofen and equal amounts of regular (not Diet) coke and red Gatorade.
Step 6: Its best to avoid any kind of human interaction, but if you must speak to someone try and think of something more insightful than "I feel like crap".
Step 7: Take occasional naps throughout the day, and when you finally wake up and feel semi-normal take a long cold shower and wash away the loser complex from the previous night.

Trust me it works...